Know Yourself

I would like to say that I'm an introvert.  However, there are times that I don't feel like it. 

The times that I'm tagging people, sometimes friends and sometimes acquaintances,  on Twitter.  The times when I'm constantly on Voxer trying to ask questions and share my thoughts.  The times when I'm doing a PD and I'm bouncing around like what I'm talking about is THE most exciting thing in the world (and I mean there are times when I really do LOVE it so the bounce is completely natural).  All of these times and more I'm putting myself out there and making connections and getting my name out there.  I'm not always very successful, but I do it.  I do it because I want to learn.

However, there are times when I can't.  It takes so much of my energy to be in constant contact.  And while I genuinely do enjoy it even if it's hard, I'm drained. 

So I must be an introvert?  Because while I enjoy the connections, it's so draining?  Because there are times (few and far between) that I just have to take a break?  Because the reality is that it's easier for me to chat via media than small talk in person?

And what does all this have to do with anything?  Because I went back to school on Monday, just like many of you.  And after 3 days of working with colleagues, chatting, PDs, laughing, planning, analyzing, meeting, etc. I want nothing more than to go home and go to bed.  I don't really want to be on Voxer.  I don't really want to be on Twitter.  At times, I don't even want to talk to my husband. 

I just want to be alone.  I just need my time to decompress and do nothing.  To put on a movie that I want.  To do something I enjoy on my laptop, that isn't connected to others.  That is tonight and that is this post.  While I'm writing it...I am not on my phone and I am alone.  My husband is gone, my son is alseep, and I am tunnel vision focus on the screen in front of me.  It feels good. 

Am I an introvert?  There are parts of my that very much are.  And there are parts that very much aren't.  So...true to my #oneword2020 WHY do I have to be all or nothing and WHY do I have to decide.  I don't.

WHY

Well, it is January 1, 2020. 

My family and I are settled in Florida, as well as we can be.  I've got my job at my new school.  I am working on my book, Balancing the EDU Life, with a multitude of talented educators with stories that move and inspire me with each word I read, staying active on Voxer with a few different PLNs, and I still have the Undrcaff3inated Podcast that I work on with Joelle and Ashley.  Combine that with all the other "stuff" of life, and I'm feeling...full of life. 

Of course, in my PLNs this year, #oneword2020 was a hot topic.  My word is WHY.  Also of course, that is not the only hot topic.  My friend Melissa wanted to start #edublogyear in one of our Voxer group.  I knew that I would not be able to blog 365 days.  I am already juggling too many things to be able to do all of them as well as I would like to, if for no other reason than they aren't my number 1 priority...my son and my husband and my parents and my in laws are my number 1 priority.

As I sat down tonight to scroll through Twitter as my husband watched TV and my son slept peacefully, I opened up my friend Holly's blog.  She is participating in the #edublogyear initiative.  I read her post and I was inspired!  I thought her post was insightful and interesting.  I know that it took time and effort, but as I read it, it didn't seem like it was a difficult task for her to write.  I began to think. 

Then I thought about my #oneword2020...WHY.  WHY do I have to blog every. single. day?  WHY can't I do what I can do?  Nobody is judging me, except perhaps myself.  So WHY not?

I may not see you every day, but I'll do the best to see you some days.  Cheers Melissa, Holly, and anyone else participating in #edublogyear!