Time...

is one of those things we never have enough of.  I don't care who you are or what you do, there's never enough time to get everything you want accomplished AND still have time to breathe and appreciate all of life's blessings.

My one word this year was breathe.  I need to breathe in order to stay sane and not freak out about the fact that I don't have enough time.  And I'm talking time today and time over the months and time over the year.  Yes, because I'm a BIIIIIIIG picture planner.


My professional life has always been a huge priority for me.  When I stumbled by accident into the ed tech world, it changed education for me.  When I worked closely with an instructional coach or 2, it changed education for me.  Both of these things showed me a professional path that I am exceedingly passionate about.  My ultimate goal in my professional life is to be in a position of influence where I can inspire teachers, get them excited about teaching and their students, understand how to use, and the many benefits of technology in their classroom.  I'm excited just writing that sentence.

GOALS

1. I thought I had found the perfect job at OSU.  I was getting to work with select high school teachers around the state of Ohio and do exactly what I described.  It was perfect!  But it was a grant and short lived.
2. I found myself back in a classroom but working with the teachers at my school to build some technology integration excitement.  I knew that I wanted more though.
3. I want to BE someone in the world of educational technology.  I so admire Tony Vincent, Matt Miller, Alice Keeler, Travis Allen and the iSchool Initiative, Jesse Lubinsky, Todd Nesloney, and Dave Burgess just to name a few!  Now I never want to on their level...but I want to be on my own level...enough to inspire teachers out in the world.  To do that I try to cultivate a presence online...Twitter, Instagram, blogging, etc.

Enterprise Architecture - SDSU Spring '18

4. I thought a great first step is to learn to be more than a coach but to be a true leader at a school.  So I decided to enroll in an MA program for Educational Leadership with a focus on Educational Technology.  Perfect FIT!
5. This year I ended up transitioning from the technology teacher position to a 4th grade teacher position.  I couldn't love it anymore.  However, it does involve a lot of planning and time and energy.  Couple that with the MA program that I'm enrolled in (see #4), and I'm overwhelmed but juggling.

Inspirational Ed Tech Goal + MA student + 4th grade teacher

I love my life.  I don't have time for everything but I surely juggle the best I can.

INSERT SURPRISE

My first week as a 4th grade teacher I found out I was pregnant!  It was definitely a struggle those first weeks figuring out everything I needed to do, working on homework, and being completely exhausted.  However, I have an incredible partner teacher who supported me the entire time (and still is) and an exceptional husband who picked up the slack at home so I could get work done, eat, and sleep...not always in that order.

We are over the moon with this wonderful blessing.  But for me, that means I literally cannot continue to do everything I've been working on.  Clearly, I cannot stop working.  I won't stop my program...I'm almost DONE - August!  But I can't, now or when the baby comes, focus so much of my time on my goal of being someone in Ed Tech.  I will still be on Twitter, I will still engage with my PLN on Voxer, I will still blog.  These things all bring joy to my heart in a professional capacity, but they can't be a priority.

Being a mother has to trump all of these things and more.

I'm writing this post, for me...because 99% of the time my posts are for my own peace to get my own thoughts out of my head and "down" somewhere.  It's therapeutic for me.  However, I'm also writing this post to point out, because while not the exact same circumstances, there are teachers all over the world, struggling to balance everything.

Goldfish Division

To them, I want to say, don't...it will all be there tomorrow.  What is your priority?  What is the most important thing to you?  Focus on that.  Then add the other things but don't burn yourself out trying to do and be everything.  We are only humans, we can't.  If what speaks to your heart is your biggest priority, you will find happiness, even while juggling.

Thankful Post

Life as a teacher is never smooth.  Life as a teacher never goes according to plan.  Life as a teacher is almost always overwhelming.  But to be perfectly fair...life for anyone, with any job, is all of the above.

Then, of course, if you add anything other than your job onto your plate and you begin to feel, well to put it delicately, you feel slightly overwhelmed.

To put it not so delicately, I feel like I'm going to freak out on someone (usually my husband) in a mass emotional, hysterical, meltdown.  **please tell me I'm not the only one**

I'm just going to put it all into perspective...I changed jobs (my idea) from technology specialist teacher to 4th grade teacher.  I LOVE what I'm doing now, but it's different and we're all getting used to it.  I am working on a degree while teaching full time.  I am trying to be a good wife, where I make lunches and boil noodles for dinner or whatever (I am NOT at home in the kitchen), listen to my husband share about his day, not freak out about all the video game playing that happens (cause you know he doesn't freak out about all the online shopping that happens 😯 💸 📚).  I am trying to be a good daughter and spend time with my parents.  I am trying to be a good friend and not be a complete hermit.  I am trying to be a good --- nope, I got a cleaning lady.  I can't do it ALL for pity's sake!!  I am not Super Woman or anything close!!!

And no, I can't laso either...not even sure I can spell that...and for accuracy sake, I'm not using spellcheck!

So at this point, it just sounds like a whole lot of venting and it seems like maybe I should be thankful...but I'm not?  Wait for it....

This week, my school had the whole week off for Thanksgiving.  THAT I am certainly grateful for!  However, it's not the only thing and definitely not the point of the post.  What it did give me was some time to relax and breath.  It allowed me time to stop my frantic mental checklist and just BE.  There were definitely times that I met with friends and ran errands instead of staying at home in my PJs, but those were pleasant excursions.  I enjoyed them.  It was part of what I needed to do for ME.  

In the midst of all my relaxing, and unfocusing on work and school, I slowly because to count the things on my list of stress.  And inevitably, I was able to count them as blessings.  

1. Moving to 4th grade, while taking time, was a huge blessing from the moment I set foot in that classroom.  I've been happier in the last 2 weeks of school than I have been all year.  Having the sweet faces surround me and being able to laugh with them and get to know their personalities on such a deeper level than as a specialist just fills my heart with joy.  

This was the right move for me guaranteed.  Especially when I hear about friends who have also made various moves and are still unsure.  The knowledge alone, that I am in the right place, is something I am very THANKFUL for.  

2. Masters classes are challenging.  There isn't a person on the planet (well that could be a slight exaggeration) that wouldn't say working full time and getting a degree is easy.  However, my husband and I made the decision that I would start when I did because we didn't have a family.  My job allowed me enough flexibility and access to the audience I would need in order to complete my program.  Plus, I had someone, a couple of someones in fact, who I felt could be a valuable mentor to me should I need support throughout this program.  However, it's fast-paced because of how quick the program is and it's 100% online.  These are both added challenges that make it so much harder.

But I LOVE the content!  I don't love every single class, but I have found value in every single class.  Some of the classes are just a little more interesting than others or I prefer the style of the professor more than others or I don't want to write another paper.  **just saying**

But in truth, how often can you say, I love going to school...it's SO interesting.  And in order to not lose our minds, a small group of us have bonded together on a Google Hangout to bounce ideas off of each other.  We're all in different places and we've never met in person, but I am I don't know what I would do without them!  So for all these things...ability to get through assignments, quality content and instructors, and an amazing group to lean on I am very THANKFUL for.

3. Of course, I am thankful for my family and friends.  I have wonderful parents who help me out whenever I need it.  My husband is a saint in how he handles all my ups and downs and my constant focus on either work or school.  I even have extended family on the other side of the country that are always letting me know how much I am loved.  My friends are the kind of friends you have for a lifetime.  They know me to my core and force me, with a supportive hand, out of my comfort zone and they listen when I'm frustrated and we go on adventures and we laugh, just like we did when we were kids.  For every single one of them, I am THANKFUL.

4. I may not be a homemaker and a cook but I have the basic skills to get by.  Or between my husband and myself, we are lucky enough to be able to afford someone to come in and help.  For THAT, I am THANKFUL.

5. My professional aspirations are currently all over the board.  It has always come down to wanting to inspire teachers.  However that comes about, I think I will be fine.  However, right now, I feel...I feel...unsatisfied.  I think it's because I do not feel like with everything I have going on, my aspirations are just OUTSIDE my grasp.  Life is just too busy.  There are just too many questions.  However, my heart has direction...I know where I need to be.  I also know that I have support from colleagues near and far.  We lean on each other, we support each other, and it will all come together.  So I am thankful for being unsatisfied.  That feeling pushes me further...motivates me to work and connect and learn.  I don't know when I will get "there", but I am confident that I will.  For that dedication and ambition and my support team, my various PLNs, I am THANKFUL.

I'm also thankful for pizza, pumpkin pie, cheesecake, Taco Tuesday, and anything Disney. See I told you this was gonna be a thankful post! 

Lemons to Dole Whip...what?

I know what you're thinking...I've gone ahead and lost it.  There are lots of tradition and also new and creative ways to use the "When life gives you lemons..." piece of wisdom.  But I'm going to be honest, there are times when you just have to make it your own!  Hence the dole whip.  Now, I could go into detail about why I chose a dole whip...1) clearly it's from Disneyland which was my first true passion #disneylife 2) you get a cherry on top, which doesn't that always make things better (unless you don't like cherries - oops sorry) 3) the umbrella on top indicating that you need to kick back and put your feet up.  However, I am going to take this dole whip and use it a little more metaphorically speaking.  So lets take a look at these 3 reasons I chose I dole whip to represent life...in addition to being an all around wonderful treat.  

Attribution: https://goo.gl/zXVR9B

When life throws you lemons, a curve ball, things unexpected and/or a variety of things that you did not anticipate...keep in mind, what is happening does matter but how you are handling it that matters more.  

Dole Whip Metaphor Number 1: 

I eat Dole whips at Disneyland. Disneyland is a place to escape the realities of #adulting. It's a place to be a kid again! Perhaps this feeling of my childhood makes me hold onto Disneyland so much harder the older I get. Or perhaps it's the feeling of magic. That anything can happen...like a miracle. 

Change doesn't always feel like magic when it happen, but take a moment to soak in the real life magic around you. What are the random series of events that lead to this moment?!  What are the random series of events that will lead to the next change? Life is change...be excited. Take it as challenge and run with it like a kid who doesn't have a care in the world.

Dole Whip Metaphor Number 2: 

So life gives you challenges and that's ok. TAKE. THE. RISK.  Be creative in how you approach your challenge and possibly change what and how you were doing before.  Like a dole whip.  Really it's pineapple ice cream, not that impressive.  But they made it into soft serve and put a cherry on top and added an umbrella?! It's a whole new dessert!!  And people (myself included) LOVE IT!  

Dole Whip Metaphor Number 3:

Do not fight it. I am sorry to say but change happens. It happens TO you. Don't fight it. Embrace it. In fact, take some time to sit back and process it. Sit in the sun, put your feet up, enjoy a Dole whip and think. What lead to this/these changes? How can be the best ME in the face of these changes? Is there anything I can do to set another set of changes into effect? Do I even want to? Am I giving this change a fair chance? What are the possible positives that could happen? Is this change a good thing in my life? 

You won't have answers in one round of Dole whips. But maybe taking the time to reflect will help you feel a little more prepared for all your unanswered questions.  

Good luck to you and wish me luck in mine.  

Summer Time

It's summer!  What are your plans?

Most of us use the summer to try to readjust and improve things that didn't go so well or brainstorm new and exciting ideas for next year.  A lot of us are going to conferences and PD sessions to improve ourselves and our craft.

These are all fantastic!!

But...what else are you doing this summer?

Are you a crafter that is going to do some DIY projects?

Are you a reader that will spend days upon end reading straight through a good book...for FUN?!

Are you a traveler with your sights set on some new adventures?

All of these or any of these or none of these and a multitude of other things.  Be those.

Don't forget (preaching to the choir I know) to take some time and take care of you.  Summer vacation...any vacation...was not given to teachers for no reason.  It is provided so that your brain and your body can have a break.

I am going to Ohio to see my family and friends that we haven't seen in just about a year.  My husband is from Ohio and it's been difficult to be that far from the other half of our family.  Especially since we have a new niece to celebrate!  Then it's off to Tennessee to see my friend that I've known since we were in the 3rd grade!  You can't be that close to Tennessee and then skip a visit.  Especially because we have another new addition to that wonderful family as well!

These are how my brain and my body will rejuvenate themselves.  This is how I will be prepared both mentally and emotionally to come back next year.

via GIPHY

Saying "I Do"

I recently (4 days ago) got married.

*I know way to ease into big news!*

And anyone that has planned a wedding or been involved in planning a wedding, knows that there are A LOT of things to figure out.  Big details, tiny details, details you forgot about, and surprises - and lots of other things in between.  Depending on your wedding and venue, you have varying levels of help and people doing things for you as well.  You also have a wedding party and lots of family who can help and support you through the entire process.

While we were planning the wedding, and even on the day of the wedding, I couldn't help but notice some parallels to being a teacher.  Yea, yea, yea...don't roll your eyes yet.  Just read for a second.

Think about all the details you plan for the year, for the month, for the week, and for the day.  Think of how those details rarely go EXACTLY according to plan.  Think of who you lean on for support - your family, your grade level, your administration, your friends, etc.  Despite the stress and anxiety and hours upon hours upon hours...*pause for dramatic effect*...UPON HOURS of work you put into everything for the kids, nothing is ever perfect.  Just like a wedding.

I realized the DAY. BEFORE. THE. WEDDING that I could not keep up with or control each of the tiny details I had been carefully devising over the last few months.  I finally reached out to my friends and said this is what I want, but you know what, do what you think is best because I will not know the difference tomorrow.  I also said that to the caterers and the DJ.  And you know what?  Looking back, I have no idea if what they did was exactly what I would have done.  I was too busy soaking up my new husband, my new family, seeing all of my friends, celebrating, and loving the day.

Now I am going to say this to you, as teachers.  You cannot control every little detail of your classroom/school/students.  Ask for help from your grade level, your administration, your family, and your friends - even your students...especially your students.  Give up the control and trust that at the end of the day, week, month, year...you and your students will have soaked up all the important things.  You will have inspired and instructed.  You will have guided and given hugs.

You will have made a difference.

Life Moment Fail

So this morning I had a life moment fail.

I was walking out to my car and took 2 steps in the parking lot and, very much like a cartoon, my legs went forward, my bags went into the air, and my butt when down.  It hurt.  I fell.  On ice.  On asphalt. On. My. Butt.

It hurt and I was embarrassed.  I was a little shocked...couldn't get up immediately.  However, I could make sure that my coffee wasn't spilled everywhere immediately.  Priorities people priorities.

As soon as I realized nothing was really hurt I started to gather my things and started to rant in my head. "THAT'S IT! I'M WORKING FROM HOME TODAY! I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE IN THIS! WHAT WAS I THINKING! I SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN BED!"

I started to pull out my phone to make sure I didn't have any meetings on campus and realized that the only thing that really hurt was my pride and the fact that I really don't like snow and ice. However, I made the decision to live where there is snow and ice so I have to deal with it. I decided to shuffle my way to my car...this time walking through the snow instead of sliding on ice again.

*disclaimer: if I fell again, I was staying home!*

I made it to work, granted my butt was wet from sitting on ice, but still I made it.

I had failed.  I had picked myself up.  I had tried again.  I had succeeded.

Why is it OK for me and for kids and for all other adults to have these little life fails in the outside world but not in education?  We learn so much from them.  I learned to walk in the snow for instance. I feel like in education, failing is the end.  Story over.  Why?  Why can't it be a chance to learn and try again?  Isn't the point of education to prepare for life?  We fail in life ALL. THE. TIME.  Why don't we teach that failing is just another chance?

Fail = DO OVER!  Don't we always want a "do over"?  WE HAVE IT!!!

*disclaimer: I'm glad I didn't fail forward this morning otherwise my face would have hurt much more than anything else.

K12 vs Higher Ed

I come from a K12 background.  I just finished my 1st year in a Higher Ed setting.  It's been an adjustment.

The whole time I was in K12, I would find myself saying, "I'm preparing them for college and real life".  Now, I see that what I was preparing them for, is not in fact Higher Ed.  Ok...in some ways yes; critical thinking, independence, making good choices, etc.

However, the way I was teaching...giving choices, allowing for creativity, asking for creation and explanation of thinking.  Granted, I didn't have much of a choice because this is how I was directed to teach, but I also agreed with it.  With all my heart!  I felt like much of that allowed for the critical thinking and independence and making good choices.

I feel like as a child I got REALLY good at following directions and "being a student" so that now, being free and creative is sometimes a challenge for me.  I don't want my students to feel that way.

Anyway, back to the point...in Higher Ed, sometimes it still feels like what it used to 15 years ago when I went to undergrad.  There's a gap.  There's a difference between how we teach in K12 and how we teach in Higher Ed.  And if they aren't already feeling it, students will soon figure it out.

How do we close the gap?  How do we focus on the best way to reach students?  Will students revert to "studenting" when they go to college?  Will they want the more interactive way of learning?

Why Do You?

Why do you teach?

Why do you cook with mushrooms?

Why do you read a book even if you know you'll cry?

Why....why....why?

I'm working on a version of PD for some of the teachers I work with and the objective is ways they can provide PD to their staff.  I have a couple of approaches, but the one that has me really thinking is blogging.  Why does this have me thinking?  Because I started reading some blogs.

For this particular PD I'm sharing the blogs of some "real" teachers.  Teachers that I know and have worked with.  Teachers who are not looked to in the ed tech world but who are looked to in their classroom.

I just finished reading a post from a friend of mine about having a student observer in her class.  Why did she agree to have that student in her class?  I then reflected back to when I had a student teacher in my class.  Why did I agree to that?  Because I wanted to be a teacher...not just to the kids, but to a future teacher.  I wanted to have an impact.  My friend wanted to give back because she felt like she didn't have a mentor.

Then I continued to think back to when I took that course in my undergrad.  I was NOT a fan of my teacher.  She wasn't warm and she wasn't welcoming.  In fact, she said I didn't take any initiative.  I don't think she knew it was because I was worried I was stepping on her toes.  Why was she selected to have me in her class?  Why did she agree?  Why did I decide to continue on the path to teaching when my experience had been so negative?

Why am I where I am today?  Why am I working with teachers now more than kids?  Why am I out of the classroom?  Why is it so hard in a classroom?  Why would you want to stay in a classroom?  Why would you want to leave the classroom?  What makes you love teaching...regardless of who you teach?  Why are you a teacher?

Why.