Know Yourself

I would like to say that I'm an introvert.  However, there are times that I don't feel like it. 

The times that I'm tagging people, sometimes friends and sometimes acquaintances,  on Twitter.  The times when I'm constantly on Voxer trying to ask questions and share my thoughts.  The times when I'm doing a PD and I'm bouncing around like what I'm talking about is THE most exciting thing in the world (and I mean there are times when I really do LOVE it so the bounce is completely natural).  All of these times and more I'm putting myself out there and making connections and getting my name out there.  I'm not always very successful, but I do it.  I do it because I want to learn.

However, there are times when I can't.  It takes so much of my energy to be in constant contact.  And while I genuinely do enjoy it even if it's hard, I'm drained. 

So I must be an introvert?  Because while I enjoy the connections, it's so draining?  Because there are times (few and far between) that I just have to take a break?  Because the reality is that it's easier for me to chat via media than small talk in person?

And what does all this have to do with anything?  Because I went back to school on Monday, just like many of you.  And after 3 days of working with colleagues, chatting, PDs, laughing, planning, analyzing, meeting, etc. I want nothing more than to go home and go to bed.  I don't really want to be on Voxer.  I don't really want to be on Twitter.  At times, I don't even want to talk to my husband. 

I just want to be alone.  I just need my time to decompress and do nothing.  To put on a movie that I want.  To do something I enjoy on my laptop, that isn't connected to others.  That is tonight and that is this post.  While I'm writing it...I am not on my phone and I am alone.  My husband is gone, my son is alseep, and I am tunnel vision focus on the screen in front of me.  It feels good. 

Am I an introvert?  There are parts of my that very much are.  And there are parts that very much aren't.  So...true to my #oneword2020 WHY do I have to be all or nothing and WHY do I have to decide.  I don't.